Thursday, July 10, 2014

Annoying Behaviors After 16 Years of Marriage!

Boris, my husband planned our 16th Anniversary. I was not aware of the location or what he had planned. I only requested that we do something we never done before. He decided for us to stay at The Ridges Resort in Hiawassee, GA. When we first arrived at the resort my thought was “What in THE WORLD?”

 I assumed it was a place that did not welcome black people. I asked my husband, “Sweetie how did you find this place?” He looked at me with his bright smile and said “Bookie I knew you would like it? It’s not a lot of people, we have the best of both worlds, the mountains and lake!” My response, “Yes Boris, it’s beautiful and there are only a few people here. It’s very peaceful, Babe you did a great job.”  We went to our room and it was on the first level with a beautiful lake view. My husband studied my face expression to see if I approved and knew something was wrong. He looked at me and asked “Bookie is everything ok?” I looked at him, smiled, and said “I will feel better on the second or higher level than the first floor because anyone could walk up to our balcony, but the room is beautiful!” He quickly changed our room. 

This is what I love about my husband, his heart is to please me most of the time. Plus, he always does a great job in planning our Anniversary, I love me some HIM!!

 Every year during this time we make sure we spend time discussing how we can better our marriage and review & pray over our goals. One particular discussion focused on our annoying behaviors we needed to change as individuals after I told him about a recent Louisville University study that looked at 160 married couples and their annoying behaviors. The researchers found that comparatively minor unpleasant behaviors appear to affect a partner’s emotions in a way that resembles how physical allergens function. The first experience is likely to produce a small negative reaction, but repeated contact develops embedded conflict.

Here are some of the most highly ranked annoying behaviors in marriage from the research:

Asking your spouse to tell you how you look.
Making negative comments about what your spouse is wearing.
Packing too many items and suitcases for a trip.
Taking too long to get ready to leave the house.
Boring your spouse by spending too much time shopping.
Looking at your phone while talking to your spouse.
Being possessive.
Spending too much time on the computer.
Being bossy.
Spending money just to “even the scales.”
Using sex as a tool of manipulation.
Not picking up after yourself around the house.
The bottom line of the study was this: the more annoying behaviors we have, the more “deromanticised” our marriage becomes. And the longer the behaviors continue, the more irksome they become.

We had a great time telling each other the behaviors that annoyed us and behaviors we were willing to change. I honestly believe it brought us closer, because we don’t want to do anything purposely to annoy each other.  Nevertheless, we had a blast! I must say he's my best friend and lover!!!

My favorite moment was when he told me “Nancia, I decided to take you to a 5 start restaurant called The Copper Door!” When I saw that the address was in NC, I was a little hesitated, but he informed me we were not that far from NC.  We were there in about 12 minutes!! The food & service were superb and the restaurant was picturesque. My amazing husband has done it again, even after 16 years! We praised God at 12:00 am on 7.11.2014 for having the desire to remain in love for 16 years and doing what it takes to bullet proof our marriage. We are so thankful for being one in marriage and our beautiful family!! 

The Leaths


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